


Burnt Caramel Turns Into Warm Apples and Cinnamon

by GonerLoner



Series: vent fics [12]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bad Days, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) Needs a Hug, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)-centric, References to Depression, Self Confidence Issues, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, he gets it uwu, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26122471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GonerLoner/pseuds/GonerLoner
Summary: Stray Kids have a rare day off - yet, Felix has trouble getting out of his bed.Cue, Chan, and Jisung to the rescue.Warm and fuzzy feelings.
Series: vent fics [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1269089
Comments: 2
Kudos: 197





	Burnt Caramel Turns Into Warm Apples and Cinnamon

**Author's Note:**

> heya lovelies! <3
> 
> I'm kinda stuck on my current story 'Another Dawn' (or more: hit a motivation low regarding whether or not to continue it) and I thought writing another vent fic would help (while listening to a sad-/chill kpop playlist and whoa the amount of The Rose songs this playlist has made me so happy uwu).  
> As always, I wrote this piece in one go, only editing it once - hope you all like it! If you do, please consider leaving some Kudos and comments <3<3
> 
> enjoy! xx

Sunrays filter through the half-closed blinds. The room is quiet, dust silently floating through the air.

Dull, amber eyes look out of the window, following the movement of the swaying tree branches outside. He doesn’t move. Outside, he hears the voices of the other boys, but they sound too far away, floating through him through a field of fog and the roaring of blood in his ears.

Is getting up worth it?

His body is heavy, like lead. His head hurts. There’s no one in the room anymore apart from him; he’s the last one to wake up. It must be some part in the middle of the day, and Felix wonders why no one came to check up on him yet.

His skin is tingling, and each movement of the comforter on his skin feels like  _ too much.  _ Yet, he doesn’t want to let go of it.

Don’t they usually barge in and demand them to hurry up, because they have schedules to attend?

Heavy eyelids close over tired eyes, and he sighs.

Right. They don’t have any schedules today - Chan has managed to get them a rare day off again.

But what is it worth if he can’t enjoy it?

Or… he wants to - but why should he deserve it? With the mistakes that he made recently?

Jeongin’s laughter resonates from the kitchen, and with a pang in his chest, Felix realizes he wants to join them. But- they seem quite fine without him… besides, his limbs are still too heavy to move.

Wouldn’t he just be a nuisance if he disturbs them with his bad mood? He doesn’t know if he could bring himself to smile today.

Lips set into a frown, and Felix curls deeper into himself, pulling his comforter around him, ignoring the tingling ache on his skin and the wish just to be  _ held _ . 

Disappearing from the world… doesn’t sound too bad right now.

There’s a knock at the door.

Felix doesn’t know if it’s real or if he imagines it - then, the voice follows.

“Felix?” Chan. Of course. The first one who would go and see if his members are alright. “Baby, are you up? It’s almost midday…”

Felix doesn’t answer, pulls the comforter over his face. He wants to answer, but the words stick to his teeth like burnt caramel, and he can’t get them out.

The door opens, and he stiffens.

A sigh.

“Jisungie said you were already up when they got up - but you didn’t react when they talked to you.” From the worry in his voice, Felix can almost picture the deep set of his frown, the lines around his mouth. 

Guilt tightens in his chest.

“Is it… one of  _ these  _ days again?”

A weight dips the mattress next to Felix, and he doesn’t know how to answer. What does ‘one of these days’ mean? If it means a ‘bad day’, then that would be a yes. But he doesn’t know… he was fine yesterday, wasn’t he? Why does everything feel like it’s too much today - too loud, too fast, too bright? On a day where they’re supposed to relax?

Is he allowed to relax, too?

But Felix only has to think about the upcoming shows they still have to prepare for, and the burn of anxiety and nauseating nervousness curls through his stomach again.

A whimper slips from his lips. No, he doesn’t want to-

“Oh, baby,” Chan whispers, and the pain in his voice stabs Felix right in the heart. 

He slips the comforter from his face to be able to see Chan, and he doesn’t even know why but seeing Chan, so exhausted and still, all the attention focused solely on him - it makes him burst into tears.

Chan blinks, startled, but recovers quickly. He quickly stands and kneels next to the bed, close to Felix’s head. “Hey… Baby, it’s okay.” He smiles even though Felix can see tears shimmering in his eyes.

“Can… can I touch you? Would you like a hug from me?” His voice is quiet, warm like liquid honey, and  _ so damn comforting,  _ and Felix can’t deny himself any longer. Everything aches for the need to be held, to be told he’s okay, he’s not a burden, he isn’t a crybaby even though he cries so easily.

And so, with a sob, he climbs from the bed and falls into Chan’s lap.

They both fall back until they’re sprawled out on the carpet, and Felix clings to Chan’s grey hoodie like it’s the last lifeline that keeps him from drowning in an ocean of his thoughts.

“Oh, Lix,” Chan whispers thickly, gently carding his fingers through bleach-fried, blond hair. “I’m so sorry… I should have come earlier…”

Felix shakes his head and sniffs. “It’s…” His voice cracks, and he winces, clearing his throat. “It’s okay… You should enjoy our day off.”

Chan huffs, pulling his arm tighter around Felix’s shoulders. “And have you missing from it? No. Not happening.”

Another sob shakes Felix’s chest, and he clings closer.

Time crawls by while they’re lying there like this. They listen to the voices of the other members; they hear Changbin yelling that he and Seungmin are going to the store. The entrance door closes a few moments later, and the loud noise makes Felix flinch.

Chan coos soothingly. “Is it… sensory overload? Were you… was it too much to get up because we were too loud?”

By now, Felix has managed to calm down but still hides his face away. He shakes his head quickly at the last question. “It wasn’t because of you. I… don’t know. Don’t think so… it just seems like… it felt like… everything, even getting up is too much, too…” He swallows, breaks off. “I’m sorry… I don’t know what’s up with me apart from... “ 

He stops. If he tells Chan that he wanted to disappear this morning, just… cease to exist… nope.

The door opens, and Chan looks up. 

“Lixie?”

Jisung.

Felix stiffens but doesn’t raise his head to look and peaks over Chan’s arm instead.

A plate in one hand, Jisung stops with his foot already in the room. He’s wearing his pajama pants and a hoodie that looks too oversized to belong to him - with the way he’s swimming in it. 

“Uh… Innie and I made some baked cinnamon apples… I thought I’d bring you some. I’ve already cut it up.” Slowly, his beautiful, heart-shaped smile spreads over his lips, and the words, as well as that smile, make Felix feel all warm inside. Their gazes link and Jisung’s eyes go all soft and gentle.

Felix blinks, trying to grasp the fact that they also thought of him while making their snack. And before he can answer, he feels Chan’s chuckle vibrating through his chest. “Thank you, Sungie, that’s really sweet of you.”

Jisung brightens and walks towards them, waits until Chan and Felix are sitting upright again, leaning against the bed. Then, he crouches down, putting the plate on his thighs.

Felix turns towards him, too aware of his red eyes and his bedhead. “Thank you,” he says quietly and tries a smile. “It… smells yummy.”

“Here, taste it.” Jisung takes one of the soft baked apple pieces and holds it against Felix’s lips. “It’s so yummy, and the whole kitchen now smells like Christmas, isn’t that cool?”

Carefully, Felix takes the offered piece and leans against Chan’s chest again, chewing and swallowing. The intense flavor makes him close his eyes - he hasn’t realized how hungry he is. Or maybe he has but didn’t have the energy to get up for breakfast. 

“We can take it slow for the rest of the day,” Chan whispers into his hair. “I know that Minho said he has a new film he wants to watch with us - and no, it’s not horror.” He laughs when both Jisung and Felix snap their heads towards him and stare with wide eyes. “No, he says it’s a comedy.”

Felix relaxes slowly, and Jisung lets out a small laugh himself. “Thank goodness. Seriously, I’ll… I’ll never watch horror-movies with hyung again… I hate them.”

Chan grins. “The last time we had watched a scary movie together, you totally used it as an excuse to hide behind Minho during the scary parts.”

“N-no, I didn’t!”

But Felix sees his blush, and even though it’s still too much of an effort to smile, he huffs in amusement, the corners of his mouth curling up.

Jisung’s stare whips to him. “You be quiet, you totally wanted to crawl into Chan-hyung to hide from that monster!”

Felix stares at him, too stunned to answer. His cheeks and neck slowly get warmer and warmer, and he doesn’t need to see himself to know that he’s blushing like crazy. 

He carefully glances up at Chan to watch his reaction - and thankfully, he sees a grin even though Chan’s cheeks also seem a bit redder than before. “Of course - he knows I’ll protect him from every monster, be it real or not.”

Silence blankets over the room.

“Hyuuuung! Why are you so cheesy, oh my gosh!” With a laugh, Jisung falls back, sprawling himself out like a star next to them. 

Chan laughs and takes another baked cinnamon apple piece, eats it before offering Felix another one.

And even though Felix might still have his doubts if he belongs within this family of eight, if he’s a dear brother to them as much as they’re dear family members to him - they keep reminding him how much he’s worth. How much they love him.

He presses deeper into Chan’s hug, breathing in the scent of his cologne that clings to his hoodie, sleep, cinnamon, and apple, and  _ home,  _ and maybe everything can still turn out alright in the end.

Warmth spreads through his limbs, chasing away the cold, bitter sensation of lead and burnt caramel, and Felix sighs contently. 

“I love you guys,” he whispers, barely audible. His eyes are closed, a small, content smile rests on his lips.

He feels their gazes turn to him, watching him. Jisung coos softly, and a hand gently pushes a few strands of hair away from his face. It has to be him; it’s too small to be Chan’s hand. “Naw. We love you too, Lixie.”

Chan’s hand, resting on his lower back, starts moving in slow circles that have Felix melting against his chest. “Our Pixie,” he whispers lovingly.

Felix could get used to that nickname.


End file.
